What Can Parents Learn From Their Children? Rethinking the Way Families Grow Together

Parenting is often described as the process of teaching children how to navigate the world. But what if we have been looking at it from only one direction?

For Dr. Žilvinas Svigaris, raising children has revealed a very different reality: parents are learning too.

His book, Who Educates Parents?, was created from more than two decades of family experience and written together with his children. Rather than presenting a universal formula for raising children, the book explores the experiences, mistakes and discoveries that shaped one family and the conversations that helped them understand one another. 

One of the book’s central ideas is that children are not simply passive recipients of parental wisdom. They have their own perspectives, personalities and ways of interpreting the world. In fact, while writing the book, the children contributed their own childhood memories and sometimes remembered family situations very differently from their parents. 

Learning to Listen

For many parents, the instinct is to provide answers. When a child is struggling, the natural reaction can be to explain, correct or give instructions.

But listening can sometimes be more valuable.

In Who Educates Parents?, the family describes how their relationships changed when they began taking their children’s opinions seriously and discussing decisions rather than simply demanding obedience. Parents gradually became more like advisers, while children were encouraged to develop their own judgement and take responsibility for their choices.

The result was not a family without disagreements. Instead, disagreement became an opportunity for conversation.

Moving Beyond the Idea of Perfect Parenting

Another important lesson is that parenting does not have to be about perfection.

The authors describe the pressure of trying to keep everything under control and eventually discovering that good relationships and communication mattered more than constantly trying to create the perfect family environment. 

This is perhaps one of the most relatable ideas for modern parents. Families are busy. Parents have careers, responsibilities and worries, while children are growing up in a world that changes faster than previous generations experienced.

Being physically close is not necessarily the same as being emotionally present. The book describes how the family learned that simply having children nearby could never replace genuine communication and attention. 

Children Can Teach Us About Being Present

Children can also remind adults of qualities they may have gradually lost: curiosity, playfulness, openness and the ability to experience ordinary moments without constantly thinking about the next task.

The book’s message isn’t that children always know better. Rather, it suggests that family life becomes richer when parents recognise that everyone has something to contribute.

That means asking children what they think. It means discussing films together, sharing experiences, allowing them to explain their perspectives and creating family traditions that give everyone something in common.

Ultimately, Who Educates Parents? presents parenting as a shared journey. Parents give children knowledge and experience, but children can also challenge their parents to reconsider assumptions, listen more carefully and see the world through a different perspective.

Perhaps the most important lesson is that raising a child is not simply about preparing someone else for life.

It is also an opportunity for parents to keep learning how to live.

About the Book

Who Educates Parents? by Dr. Žilvinas Svigaris is published by Shea Publishing. The book explores parenting, family dialogue, education, responsibility, childhood, adolescence and the ways parents and children can learn from one another. 

Buy Who Educates Parents? on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Who-Educates-Parents-Mindful-Confident-ebook/dp/B0D35NCNB5